Smear my dear?

Fresh from this mornings smear I can officially report that a smear test takes around 40 seconds.

FORTY SECONDS! So why do we make such a big deal about getting them? I don’t want to nag you BUT data suggests three million women across England have not had a smear test for at least three-and-a-half years.

This means screening rates are at their lowest for two decades. It’s free, easy to arrange and should be in your diary if you are due one.

Yes you have to take your knickers off and yes a nurse is in close proximity with your ‘flower’ but when you get down to it there are 3 things you need to remember,

  1. She is not one bit arsed if you have waxed, shaved or stuck a Christmas tree bauble on you Mary. She’s done this a million times, get over yourself.
  2. It should not hurt. You might hold your breath and think to yourself ‘ooh er’ but its over as quickly as it started and your outside the doctors surgery back on your Insta page before you know it.
  3. It saves lives.

We owe ourselves these smear tests and we owe them to our family and friends them too. Why put your life at risk for a 40 second test? If your cervical screening result is abnormal, chill out. This doesn’t mean you have cancer. You may need another screening test or a test called a colposcopy that checks the abnormal cells in the cervix in more detail. Your test results might also show HPV. This is a common virus that most people are affected by at some point. 

Maybe you are embarrassed about getting one? I just took off my leggings and trainers, covered my bits with the modesty sheet provided and realised I had my sons socks on. Bright blue with footballs all over them and they don’t even fit. The nurse didn’t bat an eyelid! She’s in and out like a door mouse quick as a flash saying ta ra like you’ve just bought a pint of milk. So if you are due one, get it booked and to hear more about vaginas, smears, coils another forms of contraception listen to the ladies of Liverpool podcast episode 3 NOW!

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